Years of depression while in the org. Feeling that life was to be fought through. Always a feeling that I was not listening to something inside of me. When I did listen to that voice, then the floodgates opened. I started to use my intelligence and there was no going back. Went to a meeting one evening after the floodgates had opened and could not get my legs to work, I sat rooted to the car seat holding on to the steering wheel for dear life. That did it....body caught up with the mind...no way back. Went home and never looked back since. Feel at times an utter fool for believing what I did. Have learnt to forgive myself, as the witnesses so rightly say...nobody is perfect!! Haha.
All the best to you.....enjoy your life!!